This must be the sweetest form of insanity I’ve ever experienced
Grasping for molecules of dust and sand
strangely strangling my own sense of Self
Holy litanies crawling up my spine.
I’m saying this to remind myself, I’ve recited that line before
if only b/c there’s really not much else to say
about the human condition
Fuck what else is there besides the mortal moping hopelessness
dripping from our minds
I’m startled into conclusions I’ve already made.
It’s all some senseless sassafras,
Peaches rotting from limbs
I can’t dig my hands deeply into barrels of oats anymore,
for fear of contamination by wheat
Ah HA this is all some silly joke, isn’t it?
I’m so pathetically displeased
yet all the while I can see the tree spirits and mescaline allies
I’ve been walking the last few days, hearing no sounds that haven’t been produced and mastered by the Divine Spirit
Trying to avoid facing this cheating disease
But I think when it comes down to it
I’m mopping up all these blues
with a grimy rag
All I’m accomplishing is rubbing that grit deep down into the tiles
All I can recall has already been called upon
So what’s the sense in all these great conundrums rolling down the mountaintops
bouncing off evergreens and melting into streams
I don’t think there’s any sickness except what i have to say and holy litanies aren’t really enough to wash it out of my spine, anyway
And to tell you the truth,
I’ve been ruthless in my youth, i’ve turned and toiled in a grave dug too soon,
the soil is too fresh for fermenting my bones
Now I don’t know what to do about these worms carrying away bits of my soul
For sure, heavenly father, my spirit only rises when I’m sleeping
I look down and see my flesh rotten
my shoes have been ripped to shreds by lawn mowers
So how do I continue in this manner of matter?
How do I learn to form new thoughts
wallow in beds of sunshine
Splash pink about my cheeks and rip the metal from my face?
And I mean this only as literally as I can get
I can’t find solace in wine anymore. beer has long ago shown itself to be poison,
coffee’s too strong, cigarette’s make me sick, pot’s too Holy, acid delivered me to Consciousness, and Consciousness kicked me in ass.  
AHHHH this is hilarious when you back up and peer at it all closely,
I cannot believe in this anymore than you can believe in your nicotine, your odd mixture of herbs and faithless deceptions (that is, it’s the only thing i CAN believe)
besides, we’ve tried too hard to maintain this.
I am hurt too greatly by god and
I cannot do anything worth doing anymore.

consciousness kicked me in the ass.

now back to the Faryn Experience.

blossoms within

The blues, the jazz streets,
those faint of heart
in utter seclusion, serenade
the spanish moss and sparrows

transcendental technology, ‘tis
a lonely lake
& eager sounds of ardour

abnormally vivid concerns of
dreams, telepathy &
scintillating
experiences

ponder on the blossoms
within
partake in a spiritual cleansing
under oak and blessed with bliss

decades of distress, and some daunting renewal
O’ my mother earth, to the stars nightly I pray

the 6th, oh the 11th chorus begins, please pay attention: I suppose the entire
Promenade was
prepared for a certain —undisclosed—

hazards of panic
left to perform fleeting fancies

every wish contingent upon
which thought
drifts with the clouds

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this is a little piece of prose* from a story/hopeful novel i’ve been working on

this is just one voice in the story

the liveliest of them all

*faryn o’guin does not conform to the textbook definition of prose, which results in kind of awkward free form prosetry.

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blue-eyes bandits slinking around garbage bins at one in the morning,
trying to romanticize sidewalk cracks & pigeon shit.

my Kundalini is very difficult to come to terms with as I am more often feeling displaced in the earthly realm and too overwhelmed by the energies & vibrations that I am increasingly becoming more sensitive to. I can not smoke weed/tobacco, trip, or drink caffeine/alcohol anymore, and even cooked food and sex is making my Kundalini get too crazy. Auras are so vivid & intense to feel and I constantly see this sacred white fog around me. I see figures and energies seemingly moving through different dimensions. it is almost as if I am looking through the spaces of reality. It’s kind of nuts to think about… 

I don’t know what to do about accepting Kundalini fully and I wish I had someone to guide me. I’m confident that I will soon overcome my struggles with this divine energy of the universe, but my ego is currently holding me back.

I often ask “Why me?” when I should instead be thankful for experiencing this. I know I picked this lifetime for monumental spiritual development. It’s just difficult to look beyond my labels and human perspective at times. ‘Manic depression’, ‘anxiety disorder’…I blame them for my inability to progress and develop, but it is really my ego that is holding me back. I can overcome ‘mood disorders’, especially because I think they are more products of my imbalanced chakras then anything else…

i am not my worries, panic attacks, fears, jealousy, selfishness, sadness or negativity. I am a reflection of you, and we are reflections of the universe. This human experience is vital to understanding the infinite cosmos within ourselves. And we’re all on this same journey to re-unite with our cosmic consciousness.

This was really therapeutic to type.

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veil of reality

You have known the christ colours in the back of my  
eyes,
the ice of my past
and the sticky sunsets
tactfully dusted behind window drapes

well, can I say too much
about the bluebirds whistlin round
in my skull? you unknowingly
let them sneak in
to peek around and make themselves at home

I sweetly sleep in
the juniper breeze
cause sir I’m too tightly knit
outta leaves,
liable to tear up at dusty sunrises

for surely sweetheart
i’m the wisp of rosemary and mint
in the early morning rain drops
falling on our eaves,
trapped in the sacred fog
behind the veil of reality